we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
