Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
