She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
