...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
