with your own penis?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Girls should come with a carfax report
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
