i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
