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Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
