Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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