I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
