I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
