and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
