none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she peed on how many people?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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