My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
