there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
