The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
