I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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