ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
