Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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