Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
