The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
its liver damage thursday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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