you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
