Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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