Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
