I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize