I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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