idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
