Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So squirting runs in the family.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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