Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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