What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
