last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
