He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
