he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so let's talk penis.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
