just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
