dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
