So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
