I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
