If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
