We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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