Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
