Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
