Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
