i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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