i don't like sucking hair
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
