im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
