No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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