What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
