sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
