im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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