Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
