It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
